I was tagged!
What were you doing?
20 years ago November 8, 1988: I had just turned 19 and was in college. Some fun and crazy times.
15 years ago November 8, 1993: I had just turned 24 and had been married for 5 months.
10 years ago November 8, 1998: I had just turned 29 and was a mama to a 2 and 3 year old. oh, how fast they grow.
5 years ago November 8, 2003: I had just turned 34 and my fourth and final baby was 2 months old.
Yesterday November 7, 2007: I had just celebrated my 39th birthday! I was going on zero sleep because my 5 year old is very ill. I waited for the t.v repair man who came and fixed my t.v. we had our monthly family movie night which I proceeded to fall asleep :)
I am blessed to have a wonderful family, and a good life. Thank you Jesus for all of my Blessings that you have bestowed upon me :)
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Smoke and Mirrors
As I sit here I have tears streaming down my face. I have had a really difficult week. The only word I can really is sad, I am just sad. A situation has risen and I just break out into tears at silly little things. Actually the tears start flowing and I don't realize they are falling.
I have come to the conclusion that even though I despise my current weight and actually visualize myself thin. I use it as my crutch. It is almost like a bargaining chip. If this happens then I will get back on the weight loss wagon. Well after this week and seeing what I saw today my heart breaks and with it the wall comes crumbling down. I try to be strong and brave and show everyone I can do it all. Carry it all. I am always strong for everyone, there for everyone, gave it all for everyone and then theres nothing else for me and everyone always seems to take but when I need I am alone and that is when I turn to food.
This week, despite wishing I could make it all go away, I have realized with these tears I have finally chosen the path in which I will continue down. So far I have taken the road that has taken in me in a full circle, back to the beginning. I have had good intentions, but always found myself afraid of what was at the end of my journey. I have this fantasy of what it will be, what I will look like but have realizes what if I get there and its not what I hoped for. The control I have is security, the food is not. This week I had no control of the events that unfolded. This evening I have completely given all my control to God. It will not be easy, I will struggle, tears will fall. I know I will not completely understand the obstacles in my path. BUT, I do know what kind of woman the He wants me to be. I need to shed the physical weight but just as much need to shed the internal weight.
This blog is to track my journey. It is more for me, so I can look back and see where I was, who I was, and where I am being taken.
I am by far not a writer and most of the time I just ramble. I am going to learn how to visually make my blog nicer by adding pictures and such. As I transform my blog I will also be transforming myself.
... Well, all my tears have actually dried up and I am feeling a little better. As my favorite heroine has said " tomorrow is another day"
I have come to the conclusion that even though I despise my current weight and actually visualize myself thin. I use it as my crutch. It is almost like a bargaining chip. If this happens then I will get back on the weight loss wagon. Well after this week and seeing what I saw today my heart breaks and with it the wall comes crumbling down. I try to be strong and brave and show everyone I can do it all. Carry it all. I am always strong for everyone, there for everyone, gave it all for everyone and then theres nothing else for me and everyone always seems to take but when I need I am alone and that is when I turn to food.
This week, despite wishing I could make it all go away, I have realized with these tears I have finally chosen the path in which I will continue down. So far I have taken the road that has taken in me in a full circle, back to the beginning. I have had good intentions, but always found myself afraid of what was at the end of my journey. I have this fantasy of what it will be, what I will look like but have realizes what if I get there and its not what I hoped for. The control I have is security, the food is not. This week I had no control of the events that unfolded. This evening I have completely given all my control to God. It will not be easy, I will struggle, tears will fall. I know I will not completely understand the obstacles in my path. BUT, I do know what kind of woman the He wants me to be. I need to shed the physical weight but just as much need to shed the internal weight.
This blog is to track my journey. It is more for me, so I can look back and see where I was, who I was, and where I am being taken.
I am by far not a writer and most of the time I just ramble. I am going to learn how to visually make my blog nicer by adding pictures and such. As I transform my blog I will also be transforming myself.
... Well, all my tears have actually dried up and I am feeling a little better. As my favorite heroine has said " tomorrow is another day"
I LOVE YOU LORD,AND I LIFT MY VOICE
TO WORSHIP YOU OH MY SOUL REJOICE
TAKE JOY MY KING,IN WHAT YOU HEAR
MAY IT BE A SWEET, SWEET SOUND IN YOUR EAR.
PRAISE GOD FORM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!
I will find the blessings in all of this...I hope!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
On The Road Again!
Well, Hello again!
It's been a trying few weeks. School started, football started, winter ball started and the list goes on. My 5 year old had hand surgery, that went superbly well!!!
Well... my journey took a few side roads. I have not worked out faithfully and have managed some quality time my good old friends junk and comfort foods. Yes, I have been down in the dumps, but I started to set a couple short term goals and realized that since February I have lost 27lbs and a little over 10 inches. Not so bad after all.
So here I am back on the road to " fit by forty".
Only 12 1/2 months to go!!!!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!
It's been a trying few weeks. School started, football started, winter ball started and the list goes on. My 5 year old had hand surgery, that went superbly well!!!
Well... my journey took a few side roads. I have not worked out faithfully and have managed some quality time my good old friends junk and comfort foods. Yes, I have been down in the dumps, but I started to set a couple short term goals and realized that since February I have lost 27lbs and a little over 10 inches. Not so bad after all.
So here I am back on the road to " fit by forty".
Only 12 1/2 months to go!!!!
Praise God from whom all blessings flow!!!!
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
Labor Day!
Today I took all four of my blessings to the beach as a last hoorah before they start school. As I was visiting a couple of blogs , everyone is blogging about their "labor days ( or nights)"
So I thought I would share with you mine.
Joshua who is now 13 (almost 14). I had breakfast with my Mama and Grandmother and such energy that I commented maybe todays the day. We all had dinner together adn my Daddy said if you have this baby today I will give you $5.00. ( I was already 5 days late) So on Febuary 15 @ 7pm it started, I was at the hospital at 8pm was told I was not in labor and they would check me in 2 hours but most likely send me home. During which they would not give me any pain meds. cause I was going home. 10pm they checked to send me home but I was 3cm, epideral ordered (praise God) 11pm the epideral man came but i was at 9cm as soon as he was done I was pushing. My baby was born at 12:35 am. 7lbs 19 in. He was sick, at first I didn't know he was a boy he was wisked away. After all the drama I had a beautiful little boy ( who looked like a little old man). BTW, even though it was 35 past the hour my daddy still gave me $5.00. lol
Johnathan who is turning 12 on Sept. 3. I was induced. I recieved the epideral and fell in love with the epideral man. There were complications during pushing, once resolved I had a beautiful ( he looked like a doll) 8lb2oz, 21 in. little boy. labor lasted a total of 4hours.
Kathryn who is 8. She was my text book delivery. I arrived at the hospital to be induced. My husband and I decided on a girls name in the waiting room (just in case she wasn't a boy).
I was induced, my boyfriend came (epi man) 2 pushes and my 6lb 7oz 19 in princess was born. labor lasted a total of 45 min.
Zachary my baby. (5 years old) What can I say about this time around. Had it been my first it would have been my last. I was induced. I was in labor for about an hour when I recieved the epideral. Epi man and I broke up after this day. It did not take, I itched like crazy, redid it after 45 min. still nothing oh ya my face went went numb. So I was in labor for 2 hours and I was ready to push. He wouldn't come. Doctor leaves and says "I will come back in an hour" WT...?
I was in hell. Things came out of my mouth I will deny saying to this day lol. I wished bad things on my hubby, well doc came back and after pushing for another hour and a half they were getting ready for a c- section. Oh no this baby was coming out, sure enough head out doctor says bad word (just what a parent wants to hear) baby boy born. Everyone trying to be lighthearted guessing how much my big headed baby weighs. Well after guesses of over 8lbs. My 7lb6oz 19 in. baby was born. Won't bore you with the rest of the goury details but I couldn't imagine my world with him. Labor lasted a total of 6 hours.
These are my blessings. Gods gifts to me. This is my reason for breathing. They are my joy. I drag myself to the gym for them. My motivation. I want to be healthy for them ( and myself)
The pain I endured during is nothing what my Jesus endured for me. He keeps me singing!
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!!
So I thought I would share with you mine.
Joshua who is now 13 (almost 14). I had breakfast with my Mama and Grandmother and such energy that I commented maybe todays the day. We all had dinner together adn my Daddy said if you have this baby today I will give you $5.00. ( I was already 5 days late) So on Febuary 15 @ 7pm it started, I was at the hospital at 8pm was told I was not in labor and they would check me in 2 hours but most likely send me home. During which they would not give me any pain meds. cause I was going home. 10pm they checked to send me home but I was 3cm, epideral ordered (praise God) 11pm the epideral man came but i was at 9cm as soon as he was done I was pushing. My baby was born at 12:35 am. 7lbs 19 in. He was sick, at first I didn't know he was a boy he was wisked away. After all the drama I had a beautiful little boy ( who looked like a little old man). BTW, even though it was 35 past the hour my daddy still gave me $5.00. lol
Johnathan who is turning 12 on Sept. 3. I was induced. I recieved the epideral and fell in love with the epideral man. There were complications during pushing, once resolved I had a beautiful ( he looked like a doll) 8lb2oz, 21 in. little boy. labor lasted a total of 4hours.
Kathryn who is 8. She was my text book delivery. I arrived at the hospital to be induced. My husband and I decided on a girls name in the waiting room (just in case she wasn't a boy).
I was induced, my boyfriend came (epi man) 2 pushes and my 6lb 7oz 19 in princess was born. labor lasted a total of 45 min.
Zachary my baby. (5 years old) What can I say about this time around. Had it been my first it would have been my last. I was induced. I was in labor for about an hour when I recieved the epideral. Epi man and I broke up after this day. It did not take, I itched like crazy, redid it after 45 min. still nothing oh ya my face went went numb. So I was in labor for 2 hours and I was ready to push. He wouldn't come. Doctor leaves and says "I will come back in an hour" WT...?
I was in hell. Things came out of my mouth I will deny saying to this day lol. I wished bad things on my hubby, well doc came back and after pushing for another hour and a half they were getting ready for a c- section. Oh no this baby was coming out, sure enough head out doctor says bad word (just what a parent wants to hear) baby boy born. Everyone trying to be lighthearted guessing how much my big headed baby weighs. Well after guesses of over 8lbs. My 7lb6oz 19 in. baby was born. Won't bore you with the rest of the goury details but I couldn't imagine my world with him. Labor lasted a total of 6 hours.
These are my blessings. Gods gifts to me. This is my reason for breathing. They are my joy. I drag myself to the gym for them. My motivation. I want to be healthy for them ( and myself)
The pain I endured during is nothing what my Jesus endured for me. He keeps me singing!
PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!!!!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Bravo
Well i did it! I worked out 3 days a week for exactly one month. It was not easy and I wanted to give up a feww times. Especially when the numbers on the scale did not move. After having my measurments taken I may have not moved the scale but I lost 9.7 inches. Two from my stomach. That was so encouraging.
Goal for month one- work out three days a week....check
Goal for month two- keep a food journal....in progress.
The one thing I do know is this...I am not just changing my physical appearance, but my inner self. I am beginning to feel good( hubby said"your more bearable to live with"lol), this is my moment.
Fit by fourty here I come!!!
Praise God from whom all blessing flow!!!
Goal for month one- work out three days a week....check
Goal for month two- keep a food journal....in progress.
The one thing I do know is this...I am not just changing my physical appearance, but my inner self. I am beginning to feel good( hubby said"your more bearable to live with"lol), this is my moment.
Fit by fourty here I come!!!
Praise God from whom all blessing flow!!!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Sore but Worth it!
Sore but Worth it!Posted Thursday July 17, 2008 at 07:18 AM PST in The Other Side of the Scale
Well... I started excersizing! I am typing with my arms laying on the counter because I can barely lift them. I pray I don't have to use the bathroom because I'm afraid if I sit down I won't be able to get up. lol I am in good spirits. Test that I had recently taken came back really good. Really it is all related to my weight. I saw a fitness instructer on Monday and she walked me through a workout routine. I am to do it 3 days a week. I had planned on taking a cardio class on tuesday and thursday. No problem I thought. I'll attempt it next week when I can actually put my foot on the gas pedal without cringing in agony :) All in all I am pretty happy with the direction I am in. If I could just stop the nighttimehunt for snacks. Even sore and achy I still seem to want to work the arms putting food in my mouth. Help!Help!Help! Well todays another day. Let hope willpower kicks in really soon!
Well... I started excersizing! I am typing with my arms laying on the counter because I can barely lift them. I pray I don't have to use the bathroom because I'm afraid if I sit down I won't be able to get up. lol I am in good spirits. Test that I had recently taken came back really good. Really it is all related to my weight. I saw a fitness instructer on Monday and she walked me through a workout routine. I am to do it 3 days a week. I had planned on taking a cardio class on tuesday and thursday. No problem I thought. I'll attempt it next week when I can actually put my foot on the gas pedal without cringing in agony :) All in all I am pretty happy with the direction I am in. If I could just stop the nighttimehunt for snacks. Even sore and achy I still seem to want to work the arms putting food in my mouth. Help!Help!Help! Well todays another day. Let hope willpower kicks in really soon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)